Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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