so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
