Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
