the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
