chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He? As in you personified your dick?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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