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Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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