the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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