Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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