I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we should paint friendship bongs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
