We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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