Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
