I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
