Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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