i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
