if only i could text you this smell
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Still dying that you shit outside
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
