They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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