I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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