i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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