sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
