we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
