we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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