some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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