You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Randomize
