I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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