how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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