So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
