she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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