Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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