Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
