Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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