Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
