This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
