I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
