she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
