Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
