If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i dont even know how to be here
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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