i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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