I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
