Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
