Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
