Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
