Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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