Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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