She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
