I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
