I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
