After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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