So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
