Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
