Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Boobs are out for the taking
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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