Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
