so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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