how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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