I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize