Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
