I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
