just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
