I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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