I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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