I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
