ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
